As this has been something that has been a running theme on some of my Russia posts, I thought that I’d better address being a vegetarian here, for all of those vegetarians out there considering coming to Russia and also for those of you who think that I’m extremely high-maintenance. I’m also going to give my esteemed fellow traveler, a Mr. Rusel G. Parish, the chance to put his most valuable two cents into the blog about traveling with a vegetarian. Thank you in advance, dear Rusel.
The thing is, being a vegetarian in Russia is almost impossible! I’ve learned the Russian phrases for “Hello, I’m a vegetarian,” “I don’t eat meat,” “No meat,” “If you put meat on my plate, I might cry,” and every combination of the words above. I’ve even written everything down so when my pronunciation garners a “I have no idea what you are trying to say” look, I show them the piece of paper.
Usually, at this point, the waiter or waitress looks at me as if they understand, I put in my order, and away they go. They proceed to come back to our table with Rusel’s dish (usually chicken or beef of some kind) and then my dish – exactly as I specified, except with huge chunks of meat in it. I just don’t think that in Russia, vegetarianism is a concept that is widely understood. If you can afford to eat meat, why wouldn’t you? So far, literally every dish I’ve ordered has come with meat: pasta dishes, omelets, sandwiches, you name it.
Being a vegetarian back home is hard enough at times. I’m always the lousy dinner guest who (when it occasionally slips my mind to tell the host/hostess I’m a vegetarian) messes everything up – in these cases I truly don’t mind just eating the smaller dishes that go along with the meat that the cook has so lovingly prepared. I don’t expect an extra, special dish just for me, I’m just preparing them for the inevitable passing along of the main dish when it comes my way, so as not to offend.
When everyone was deciding what pizza to order for the company at lunch, everyone would always give me that look that said, “You’re going to mess this one up, aren’t you?” as they sat staring at the “Meat Lovers” option. I guess the one thing that has prepared me for Russia is Nebraska – but at least in Nebraska I can speak the language enough to state my preference.
So now, I have pretty much gone the route of potatoes. Potatoes for breakfast, potatoes for lunch, potatoes for dinner. If the old adage is true – you are what you eat – right now, I am a big, huge, walking and talking spud. They do some very interesting and varied things here with potatoes: they boil them, they fry them, they boil them and then they fry them, they put them in pastries and they put them in big, noodle-like raviolis. When I order potatoes, I know that there’s no chance that they are going to stick some meat in there.
Although I am kind of getting sick of potatoes.
From Rusel:
The truth is I am well known for both my love of meat and my food consumption. At dinner parties I proudly consider myself in the “eating club” and my general philosophy in life is: Eat what you can and if it doesn’t have meat in it, then it is not a meal – it’s a snack. It is also my belief that all other foods around the main dish -- the meat -- compliment the meat and are indeed condiments. And as mentioned, if no meat is involved then it is a snack, which is used to subside my appetite until a proper meal (with meat) is provided.
Generally I consider it a challenge just dating a vegetarian. As meat is one of my great loves of my life it hurts my heart that Lex has abolished something that is so dear to me. Steaks, burgers and various hot dogs beware; you will not be consumed by someone as fair as Lex. But I pick up the slack as needed and use it as justification as I consume twice as much as I should on occasion. I acknowledge that I am actually doing a service for the animal kingdom.
Also, as Lex mentions, I often have to look out for her interests at any given social situation which usually goes something like: “Thanks for the invite -- also we need to make one small note that Lex is a vegetarian, do you think you might prepare something for her? If not she will gladly eat the side dishes.” Which I then hear “Oh, ummm. I guess I can prepare something.” I hear that slight judgment of “you are dating one of those.” Most friends gladly accommodate but I can sense their resentment towards Lex for betraying the natural order of things.
As for traveling with a vegetarian (oh how I loathe that word!) I have learned one important lesson: don’t do it. It presents numerous challenges, the most tiresome being communicating that Lex is a vegetarian (which I almost always have to jump in as Lex attempts to communicate) and then explaining that I am not one. That I am actually one of them, that I am also a meat lover and have not betrayed our natural calling of dominating the food chain and being able to eat everything on sight.
Then there is dealing with the frustration when she receives the meat and she cannot eat it. At which point I quickly lose all my side dishes, which saddens me as I love food and I feel small amounts of pain as she eats food that was intended for me…
Well, actually it is not all bad, I do get to eat her meat dish, which is a lot better than those boring side dishes that lacked meat anyway. I end up walking away eating two cows for the price of one!
